A New Interest

We played tennis twice this past week. 

All I can say is....

I hope I am not getting addicted. 

During every moment of down time these past few days, the only suggestion I could think of was, 

"Wanna go play tennis? I need to practice!" 

It was either that or,

"Ahh. I am so sore! Tennis is such a great workout. Let's play again soon!"

Notes on this last week...

So, I've started this blog to keep a record of the many memories, lessons, struggles, and joys of  my life. 

The main point of it being me attempting to be more intentional about capturing those everyday moments that always mean the most to me. In 15-20 years, I hope to look at this blog and (I know it is a STRETCH, but..) remember and revisit where I was and who I was with on "such and such a day"...

Well, it's pretty obvious that I need to work on the consistency of it all. 

I can barely write one post a week. So very pitiful. 

I will do my best to play catch up on the most recent adventures in my life, in hopes that it will spark more discipline in me to remember to write on here more often. One can hope. 

Last weekend, Dan and I took a road trip with our good friend Ben to visit a dear friend who lives outside of Philly. We had made these plans months ago in order to see one of our very favorite musicians again. 

The four of us are beginning to be true fans, seeing him any chance we can when he visits the City of Brotherly Love. 

That afternoon we roamed the city streets, had our very first glimpse of the famous "LOVE" sign (which, is it okay to say that I was very disappointed?), had a little history lesson, and then ventured back to the concert venue--looking like very sweaty versions of ourselves. I love shows so much, and probably put a little more pressure on their greatness then most people. I don't know why, but I have always seemed to have these super high expectations of what the night will look like.

For example, I confessed my repeating fantasy to my husband and friends of always envisioning the band calling me up on stage to sing along with them for "that one song with a girl part". It's embarrassing, yes.
But, very true.
I come to find out that I'm not alone! My friend has the same fantasy.
Girls can dream, right?

 Well, despite being bummed out for 5 minutes about my sweaty self potentially being seen by the man himself, Greg Laswell, the concert was AMAZING and exceeded my expectations by far. 

So the venue, World Cafe Life, is this amazing gem in the city. It's the best atmosphere if you enjoy hearing your favorite music while sitting and sipping on your favorite beverage (does it get any better than that?!) He played all my favorites and even did an unplugged version of the best song on his latest album, Landline. It was like he was literally in my living room with a guitar singing to us, his friends. 

It was a very good night.

We ended our trip with the most amazing bagels and coffee from 

Seven Stones Cafe  in Media. 

After hanging out in the city for the night, we then drove two hours home just to let out our furry friend, take a nap, and hop back into the care for trip #2 of the weekend--one of my favorite places, Annapolis! A good friend of mine is getting married(!) next summer and we attended a fun party to celebrate their engagement and get even more excited about their big day. Dan and I could not be more happy for these two!! 

Summer fun

We recently went boating at a local state park with two good friends. For only $15, we had a blast (not to mention a great arm workout!). After rowing for an hour, we enjoyed some good healthy food--sausage, hot dogs, and potato chips. As if this wasn't enough, we felt it absolutely necessary to get some frozen yogurt after! The evening was beautiful and we really had a fun night filled with laughter, good conversation, and confusion (after the creepy old man at the boat rentals made some unusual comments to us)...

Here are some pictures of our fun.

For Father's Day this year, we met Dan's dad for a lovely lunch at a random restaurant the lies midway between all of us, Buds at Silver Run. This was definitely a diamond in the rough! From the outside, you'd never know this place served amazing food and had such a pretty atmosphere. I had the BEST Maryland crap soup and Dan had a yummy Chicken Chesapeake dish. We already are talking about when we can go back. 

P.S. I know this sounds strange and sort of vain (which I really am not, I promise)...but, I am loving my hair right now. I just had to post a picture so that I can remember how good it looked on June 17, 2012. I already know I will look back on this post and, while very embarrassed, will think, "heck yes my hear looked good."

a summer weekend

brick oven hawaiian pizza

yuengling lager light

a riverside deck at sunset

girl meets boys for crap dip and chatter about life

bad dream/3:00 am iPad + snack time

morning news

groceries

mop and dust rags

4miles

love & conversation

canoeing

state park dinner parties

father's day love

honey sesame salmon

choc. chip cookie CAKE

another 4?

decaf coffee by candlelight

There is a first time for everything.

Tomorrow I am waking up super early to go yard sale-ing! I'm so excited and already have my coffee pot ready to go....so that I can (of course) walk and wake up at the same time. 

I have always been a fan of good deals and typically don't buy something unless I feel like I'm getting a true bargain (it's almost a flaw...), so I am thrilled to put my thriftiness to the test. Our quaint little village town has a yard sale on the first Saturday of June each year and it's the coolest thing. Neighbors come out of the woodwork like crazy and everyone gets to meet one another, shop around, and eat baked goodies. What-a-treat!

Okay, so I am trying not to get my hopes up too much, just in case I can't find that "amazing purchase".  Isn't that always the case? A friend will always find this AMAZING yard sale find, but when I look around, I see 1970's kitchen wall art or an exercise bike with one wheel missing. Ugh. An old boss of mine found an espresso machine (worth like $200) for $10 at a yard sale last year. I really am hoping for some good slightly used books and/or a new bike. 

Wish me luck!

Oh, and get this...my husband wants to join!

Ugh. Fear.

So, I have this issue with fear. It grabs hold of me and literally chokes life out of me. It is one of the most difficult, not to mention annoying, issue to overcome, especially as it pertains to my future. It is so sneaky, creeping in and disguising itself as things like "control", "worry", "planning", etc. I know I am definitely not the only person to struggle with fear in my life, but geeze, sometimes it definitely feels like a lonely struggle.

Recently, as Dan and I have embarked on this new, incredibly exciting journey of thinking about and planning for future little babies(!), there I said it, I have really seen my fear really put a damper on the entire process. Not fear that we should not be pursuing this, because believe me, we are super excited and at a peace with opening up ourselves to parenthood, but the fear of "what if" it doesn't happen for us. Not sure if is my expert Google-ing abilities, my career in the adoption field, or what, but I know I am focusing and worry about this and it is truly irrational thinking at this point in the journey. So why do I live in fear?

This time in my life is supposed to be beautiful, glorious, and inspiring, right? I have always dreamed of motherhood and felt a true pull on my heart to have children. Now, when we are feeling it is the "right" (not that there is ever a right time!) time for us to start this journey, I can't shake this fear. Obviously this journey towards creating a baby is not at all in my or my husband's control---and I never realized before just how scary of a thing that is. Gosh, so much in life is pretty much in our control to some extent. House, what we eat, how we spend our time, what we do for a living, etc.... But this, man this is absolutely and fully in the hands of our God. Honestly, I am having to do a lot of soul searching through this process to really give 100% of my trust, fear, worry, hope, etc. to Him. I am seeing the my heart is not always living in faith, trust, and true peace in God's sovereignty and perfect plan for my life. He creates life. He knows the just-so-perfect time a little one needs to enter our lives. He knows the how, when, who, where, why....

But in the meantime, if I'm letting fear rob me of my joy, and of truly precious, purposeful moments of my present life...I am missing out on the hear and now. I am missing out on fully embracing this precious time I have with my husband--just the two of us. When I am constantly entertaining thoughts of fear and "what ifs", that selfish thinking deters me from looking beyond my own life and limits me in my service to others.

All that to say, I am trying to literally "let go and let God". As cliche as this saying may be, I want it to be true for my life. Fear steals and stops life. And I have had it!

always love,
amber