Merry Christmas Eve!

Great is Thy faithfulness. Great is Thy faithfulness. 

Morning by morning, new mercies I see. 

All I have needed, Thy hand has provided.

Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me. 

27

A little recap of recent birthday celebrations:

** every year I try to think back to the prior year's birthday and struggle to remember the specifics of what we did that day....thus, me documenting the birthday fun :)

- burrito date
- brunch with my two favorite men
- a long nap, while the husband took the baby grocery shopping (PERFECT)
- family birthday dinner
- ugly Christmas sweater partying
- going out on the town with my BFF for some much needed girl time

Forks Over Knives

Last night I watched a VERY thought provoking documentary called Forks Over Knives. Boy, did it make me think and reevaluate everything we as Americans put into our bodies. It discusses the relationship between diet and disease and is based on a number of worldwide research studies. I want to live a long, healthy life and the fact that food really can be our body's best medicine, while also potentially being a silent killer, just amazes me.  

Here is a little clip to get you thinking: 

I'll post later about how this film has helped to start some serious conversations in the Szumla household and some of the changes we want to try and make. 

We only get one life here on earth, this isn't a dress rehearsal, and for that reason I'm going to try my best to treat my body with respect--fueling it with foods that will help, not hurt it.

The. End. 

that. one. time. at. the. mall.

Today I ventured to the mall with my dad and Noah. It was CRAZY busy and crowded. Almost annoyingly so, but we definitely enjoyed ourselves. We stopped at Starbucks to get hydrated (actually, to dehydrate ourselves, who am I kidding...) and stopped at a number of stores to look around for potential Christmas gifts. 

Well. In all of the hustle and bustle, I lost my phone. 

Yep. Yikes. 

I lost my iPhone somewhere in the mall. Now, I don't want to be all dramatic about this, because that would be silly and I'd sound quite ridiculous. However, the mere thought of some sneaky person walking around the mall with a stolen phone (because I traced my steps twice and it was nowhere to be found...) was a little heartbreaking. Just a little. I practiced in my head the "I'm so sorry" speech I'd recite to my husband to let him know the news. I had lost the not-very-cheap-to-buy-a-new-one phone...Ouch. It hurt just thinking about it.  

As I made my way down the mall for the final time, feeling defeated and a little sorry for myself, my dad and I decided to check the leather massage chair, where I had received a little 3 minute treat about 45 minutes prior. Nothing. 

Boo. 

Finally, I made a quick decision to not give up just yet and ask a lady standing behind a lottery counter

....which I later found out doubled as a security desk... I asked her about a missing phone, already assuming she'd say no and I'd be calling Dan in tears very soon. To my SHOCK, she started to ask details about the phone. I then got on my tippy toes to see if I could see her holding anything..... 

Sure enough, she handed me my cover-less iPhone (I know, don't lecture me, please) and stated that the baby on the lock screen was cute. To verify my identity I quickly pointed to Noah to let her know that the cute baby belonged to me :) 

The story? Someone had found the phone on the leather massage chairs about 100 feet away and returned it to her. In the crazy body bouncing those chairs provide, it slipped out of my pocket and into a little crack.

There is a lesson to be learned here, folks. DO get the 3 minute massage in the middle of the mall, because it was REALLY great. But DO check the seat afterwards for any missing items that may have escaped during the craziness. 

A Little Christmas Cheer

We had mini photo shoot two weeks ago to take family photos and get a few new pictures of the little man. He is growing bigger and bigger every day, so I have to be intentional about documenting this growth! I look at pictures from just a few weeks ago and see minor changes in his appearance and developments and it's just crazy/beautiful/mind blowing. We are thankful to have a number of friends who are very talented in photography to help make these photos possible, and in the comfort of our own home. 

I will really cherish these photos for years to come because, to me, they depict such a new and raw joy. This season of new parenthood is a really special one, because we are learning lessons every day, about love and life. We are learning, through the eyes and life of an 18 pound boy. 

Enjoy!

A Note on Being a SAHM

SAHM. An acronym that is known to me now. Stay At Home Mom. Mommy blogs, Facebook groups, and friends use these letters frequently to describe their newly attained "job". I've been meaning to take some time to post about my new life as a stay at home mom for a number of weeks now and am finally getting around to it.

Before having Noah, I had this perfect picture in my mind of what life would be like staying at home--- the house would stay clean, I'd stay on top of all the laundry, cooking, errands, etc., the baby would be on a schedule and I'd always know what the day would look like, and each day would always end with me having a homemade, warm meal ready and waiting for my husband once he walked through the door --because, geeze, I'm home all day, why wouldn't I have time to do these "basic" things?!? Delusional. Crazy. Silly. These exceedingly high expectations I had placed on myself did nothing but create a huge pile of guilt, frustration, and uncertainty as I realized the journey would be a little less perfect and easy as I had imagined. I even remember now having a hard time understanding what new moms meant when they said they barely had time to shower, let alone keep the house clean. I quietly and naively judged, thinking to myself, it can't be that hard! Why are you complaining?

Ugh. How dare I?

Now that I am in this role and walking through it, I want to give a heartfelt apology to those moms that I quietly misunderstood and judged. Being a stay at home mom is a hard job-- emotionally, physically, socially, financially. There are no sick days or paid time off. There are no quick chats and laughs with the ladies at the coffee pot each morning. There are no bonuses or professional accolades for taking care of a child. I say this, not with bitterness, to complain, or to get anyone's sympathy, but more so to help educate and equip others better engage with women like myself. I still struggle with that loud voice in my head that tells me I do need to be working a full time job and have a successful career to in some way prove to others that I'm educated, driven, and a hard worker. I sort of had this epiphany the other day when I was thinking about why the adjustment to not working has been so difficult for me. I realized that I have literally spent the last 22 years of my life educating myself, working, focusing on the many activities I was involved in, staying busy, meeting timelines and goals, etc...you get the idea... and I think in my mind that sort of meant I had a full and meaningful life. Now...now that I have a little less on my plate, and I'm not running from work to activities, to studying, to test taking, to work meetings,etc. I feel sort of less interesting and successful. Our western culture has ingrained in me that the more I do, the more important and interesting I must be.  And that since I stay at home with my son and have much less "stuff" on my plate, I am now less interesting or important. And this, my friends is the lie. This lie had almost completely warped my idea of importance and value. It wasn't until I realized and faced this lie, that I began to find myself feeling much more at peace with deciding to stay home and raise Noah full time.

I have no idea how long this season of being a stay at home mom will be, but gosh darn it, I want to enjoy and embrace this time... Not beat myself up over the fact that I am not advancing in my career, volunteering all of my free time, and bouncing around from activity to activity. While I loved that time in my life where it was full of these things, I also am loving the beauty and simplicity of focusing on the care and growth of our child. Each and every day I wake up with excitement and peace, knowing I get to spend my day with an amazing little human that is learning and growing constantly.

During this time of transition, I have had to really change my view of success. I have questioned how I define myself as a woman and where my identity and value truly comes from. Is it from my job title? Am I defined by my role as wife, mother, friend, daughter?

Truthfully, I had not reached this place of being content in my role as SAHM overnight. The adjustment was HARD for the first few weeks and months, ask my husband. Some moments are still difficult for me. However, I am much more aware of these thoughts, and give myself much more grace to feel those feelings when I have them. It's okay to miss the drive to work where I sing loudly and stop for a latte.... or the amazing feeling of being paid to go on vacation. It's okay. That doesn't take away from the fact that I am very lucky and blessed to get to be home with Noah and love every day we share together. I wouldn't change this decision for anything. We have a blast, I witness almost each and every developmental milestone. , and I can honestly say that I am a happy, more patient and selfless person (MOST of the time!), because of this decision.

One of my very favorite mommy moments....

All curled up, breathing heavily, and sleeping sweetly in my arms....

Thank you

A day set apart to spend with family and focus on the many, many blessings in our lives. 

This years Thanksgiving holiday was just this--spent with our loved ones and focused on all that we are thankful for. 

For Dan and I, this year was extra special, since we have an extra member of the family to celebrate. To say he is a blessing to us, honestly feels like an understatement. He has enriched our lives and truly makes us feel and experience a new and special kind of joy each and every day. We are VERY thankful for our Noah. 

In addition to our little guy, we have SO very much to thank God for this year, and we make an effort to say "thank you" to our Lord every. single. day.... because gratitude, spending time with family, and having a heart of thankfulness, in my opinion, should not be confined to single day of the year. 

That said, our holiday this year seemed extra special since both of our immediate families were able to spend the day together. We felt very lucky to have everyone together, laughing, enjoying yummy food, and more importantly, enjoying one another's company. Family, love, health, and laughter are some of the very best things in life and we had an abundance of each of those this year. It means the world to us that our extended families get a long and like each other...I mean, seriously! I feel like that doesn't always come easy in some families and we consider this a blessing too. 

Here are few pictures from the holiday! 

**(Mostly of Noah, because, it's impossible not to keep taking pictures of him)

 

Don't Forget

Please don't forget...

- the way his little hands wrap around my neck

- how his arms hold me tight and grasp my shirt

- the way his sweet face borrows into me as he lifts his hands up, telling me he is ready for a nap

- that moment he began lifting his arms up, saying, "pick me up, please"

- the fun peek-a-boo always is. each and every day. 

- his sweet smiling eyes peering through the crib slats as he sees us walking towards him each morning

- his excited and demanding whines for us to feed him faster

- his heavy breathing as he concentrates, explores, and plays
- the proud face he makes when he reaches up, grabs my hands, and pulls himself up to stand
- the way he always gets excited and super smiley as he sees us walk around the back of the car to come let him out

- the way he tries to "catch" the slow pouring water coming from a plastic cup during bath

- that time when he discovered that sucking bath water out of a washcloth was simply amazing

- how he tilts his head and body to see you walk out of or enter a room

- that joy filled smile looking up at me as I rock and hold him after his morning "breakfast"

- the face he made the first time he tried avocado and peas

- seeing his eyes slowly drift more and more shut during car rides
- the way our cheeks touch when I hold him close
- how content babies are with the simplest toys-- Noah loves his Tupperware containers
- the joy his smile brings
- his "smiling" eyes
- the way his little two bottom teeth love to suck on (and bite!) our fingers
- the giggles that fill the room when the dog licks his hands and feet
- how he stops whatever it is he is doing and looks around when he hears his daddy's voice

3 Queens

I watched a short documentary the other day that brought me to tears... and I just need to share it. When people ask, "what did you do this week?" or "what have you been up to?" I sometimes have a difficult time answering. Well, this video gives a small glimpse into the day of a mamma and it's just beautiful.

Being a stay at home mom is a beautiful, messy, lonely, fulfilling, difficult, hilarious, memorable, and purposeful job. It's one that I didn't expect to love as much as I do, yet struggle with as well. I don't have time to get to my thoughts (enjoyments and struggles) right this minute, but I promise to do so soon!

Enjoy :)

3 Queens from Matt Bieler on Vimeo.

Cold Season

Just a warning to friends and family....

Stay away from our house for awhile.

It seems the yucky cold has struck and has lingered here for the past week. It started with me--achy, ear ache, sore throat, cough and now our little guy is down for the count. He is super congested and snot and drool are just everywhere. We feel so bad for him and hate seeing him this way--watery eyes, gagging on mucus, ugh...not fun. Despite this, he is in the greatest of spirits and is his smiley and upbeat self. Noah boy, you are a trooper and our little champ. We are sorry to see you sick, but know you will feel better soon.

Now, Dan. I love you, but it is safe to assume you are next. I'm sorry to break the bad news to you. Oh and thank you for taking a half day off of work and taking care of me and the little guy. You rock.

Baby After Bath Time

I am sure I've mentioned this before, but I will say it again. 

One of my favorite things in the world, and a moment I want to cherish forever, is the time Noah and I spend together after bath time each night. He is happy, relaxed, quiet, and has the best after bath warmth. I hold him close to breathe in that perfect clean baby smell, hum a few songs, pray over him, and we cuddle. Even at 6 months, Noah still gets his belly full of milk and cuddles on my chest like he did when he was a week old. 

It's the best thing, our special time, and one of my absolute favorite parts of our day together.

Loving Fall

This past weekend was BEAUTIFUL. I am talking perfect temperature, crisp air, and gorgeous fall colors. I am pretty sure fall foliage is at it's peak right now, which makes me VERY thankful to be able to live in a place where "fall" exists. There is just something about pumpkin flavors, spiced scented candles, gold and rust colored leaves, and sweater weather that just gets me all giddy inside. I really hope we get more time to get outside as a family and enjoy it, because as we all know, those colors and mild temperatures won't be lasting for much longer!

Noah and I went down to Maryland the other day to spend time with my dear in laws. Dan has had to travel a bunch for work lately, so I have really been trying to keep us busy---because we all know, boredom makes feelings sadness/missing your special someone that much more intense. Anyway, we had a wonderful time with them. We went to the cutest little restaurant called SoupR Natural, which features only fresh and natural foods. They grow their own veggies right outside the restaurant and use local eggs, meats, and ice creams from farms just a few miles away. The food was SO good and I am pretty sure I told my mother-in-law like 10 times how much I loved the place and wished it was closer to our area. It was super cute....and get this, they even made their own soda! I had never had soda like this, syrup mixed with club soda, so it was fun to try something new. If you are ever around the Monkton/Hunt Valley area of Maryland, you have to check out this place. It's truly a gem. 

Yesterday we decided it would be fun to all bundle up and take Noah on his first hike. It was chilly enough for him to wear his little "bear suit" for the first time and believe me when I say, he was very popular on the hiking trail! When you look at the pictures below, you will see why :)

Hiking always is really enjoyable and relaxing for me. It gives me time to "re-group", escape from the business of our life for awhile, and spend quality time talking and bonding with my two favorite people. It was really fun taking Noah hiking at his age. Dan and I talked about how hikes will change a bit as Noah gets older and what those changes may look like--we even saw examples of this in other families on the trails: "Ugh. Dad, I'm tired...can you pick me up?"...."Son, slow down, don't run too fast, and watch where you step!" It was fun to think about these different and unique stages and how much we will enjoy each of them, while also taking the time to embrace and fully live in the moment in THIS stage. We sure did love our time hiking with the cuddly, little 6 month old "bear" attached to Dan's chest. For this year, Noah was an awesome "onlooker", who took it all in, gasped at the blowing wind in his face, kicked his legs nonstop, enjoyed the fall air, and constantly looked down at the colorful leaves. He even started laughing when I would run far ahead, turn around, and then run towards him! He was smiling the entire time.

And so. were. we. 

If you can, go out and ENJOY the beauty of this season.
God is an amazing artist and that is quite apparent right now.  

6 Month Photo Shoot

There really are no words that will adequately describe my love for this little boy (and his expressions!!). He has stolen my heart and is keeping me busy in the best way possible. 

Happy half birthday, little man! 

10.22

Last week, a lovely guy officially joined our family. And Dan and I could not be happier about it.

My sweet sister married her best friend and, while I know everyone says this about weddings, it (really!) was a perfect day....filled with smiles, tears, lots of Red Bull, relaxing, nerves, beautiful decorations and personal touches, and crazy dance moves. 

Lauren and Kevin were married in a gorgeous ski lodge (log cabin) and the rustic feel was just right for their crisp, fall wedding. Two of our very good friends photographed their special day and we are anxiously waiting to see the professional pictures. I will say that we were both filled with emotion watching Lauren walking down the isle and observing her groom's tearful expressions. It was obvious the love these two shared and we wish them a lifetime of joy, growth, commitment, laughter and true love. 

Love you both!