i love me some FALL.

It's funny. Even just a miniature pumpkin sitting by my front door puts a little smile on my face. There is just SOMETHING about fall scents, tastes, colors, and the crisp air that get me feeling all excited and rejuvenated. Maybe it's the tradition of getting out the caramel pumpkin cheesecake candles that make you want to devour a pumpkin cheesecake (and I don't even love cheesecake!) right on the spot. Or the warm scarves and layering and big boots that make me feel like I can still be a slightly fashionable--and comfortable-- mom of (almost) two. Or maybe it's just the chance to go on a walk and not sweat...just simply enjoy the cool air and the beautiful colors around me. I don't know what it is exactly, I just know that I love this time of year.

Side note: Yesterday, when I found the (pictured above) little wooden box at a local craft store (for just $3.50!) you would have thought I had struck gold or something. I was so pumped (got this hilarious word from my husband, thank you very much) to bring it home and shove some yummy drink mixes into it.

It's the little things, folks. 

the beauty of connection

Community. This word was forced into my ears countless times in college, as it was their mantra sort of. We constantly talked about the importance of "being in community with others" and how we had been "created and called for community". As slightly unaware and immature young adults, most of us laughed and joked about the word....never really letting this message sink in.

Until now. For me.

I have begun to realize the true value of community in the last year or so. Being and feeling connected to friends and/or family is so darn important. I'll start with this: Connection is so very important for our health-- mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically, etc.

Staying home with Noah left me with a LOT of time to myself. And believe me when I say that I'm sort of a homebody as it is. I like and need some time to myself each day. And while I love and am VERY thankful for the amazing company of my little guy, because he really is super cool and amazing. Surprisingly..... he wasn't always very engaging through conversations and riveting talks about important things in life :) At least not yet. I do get to chat a LOT about "choo choos", "bubbles", "trucks", "dog dogs", and "millll(k)" (which I do abolutly love and adore), but again, I still desire and need some adult time every once in a while...

Where was I...so over the past year or so, I battled loneliness and really wanting to feel connected with others. I am so thankful to be able to say that I have sought this out and found it. God has really provided me a number of special people to connect with during this season of life.

Now, I'm very aware of the fact that there are many, many adults (young and old) who, outside of work wouldn't say that they have a good network of support and friends to "do life with" so to speak. And just from talking to people, taking academic classes in sociology, and observing social media, people CRAVE connections with others. They want to feel heard and supported. They need people they can turn to on their very good days and their very tough days. And for the record, social media, in my opinion, actually gives us the opposite result of this connection that we need so desperately. It  gives us this false connection to people through not-so-real "friendships". We can hide behind screens feeling connected with others, simply because we saw pictures of what they did over the weekend...failing to ever have an actually conversation with them, letting them know we were thinking of and (ah hem) stalking them sort of. Ugh, not good.

For me, church, mutual friends, signing up for stuff, and just simply putting myself out there to look vulnerable at times (i.e. "Wanna go for a walk right now? I need to get out of the house!") has really helped me find connection this year. Little steps and efforts have made a huge difference and I am so so thankful for the friendships that have developed and grown by this. The truth is, we NEED one another. God didn't create just Adam to rule to world and have a grand ol' time by HIMSELF. He wanted multiples of people. He desired us to support one another and lift each other burdens. To serve, help, be a listening ear, and simply REACH OUT. See, if it we just get stuck in the me, myself, and I way of life, it gets lonely and pretty depressing pretty fast. Who do we share our joys and our worries with? Who gets the help and support they need? Who celebrates with those who are experiencing something important in their lives?

I think being with others can really help us put things into perspective. What we tend to think (by ourselves) is a huge, ugly mess, once we talk through the "mess" with others, can seem okay. Hope is shared and strength is given. And THAT is just one of the many beautiful aspects of being in community with others. Another? Our sh#! is exposed. There I said it. When we keep to ourselves, we also keep the not-so-pretty stuff inside, too. As we get REAL with people, we can talk about some really heavy burdens we are carrying. The traumas, the past hurts, the fear and anxieties...that stuff. And in doing so, it really can provide healing and hope for the future.

All that to say. Just try it out. I promise you won't regret it.

My son is awake now and wants me, his mama. He wants to connect with me and I get to connect with him today. It's a good day.

why hello again

Umm, hello again. It's not hard to see that I took a little unplanned break from journaling/blogging over the summer. This little disappearance started off as me just being busy, then quickly turned to "Uh, I just don't feel like it right now", and finally became, "Well, it's been so long, there's too much to catch up on!" Well I'm here to say, I haven't given up on this little blog of mine. I've actually come to miss it. And so, here I am again, attempting to keep up with this little thing...

That being said, it's sort of impossible to get caught up on all that we've been up to this summer. I suppose I can fill you all in in just about three words that sort of sum up the past few months: weddings, pregnancy, rest. 

Weddings: in 10 months we've attended and/or been in 10 weddings. Whew. Just thinking about the craziness of it all gets me sweaty. While they were all a BLAST, with all of the showers, bachelorette/bachelor weekends away, and then the wedding weekends themselves, it filled up many, many of our weekends this year. So many of our great friends and family members tied the knot this last year and truly, despite the exhaustion this here paragraph gives off, we loved celebrating all the love!

Pregnancy: soooo, yeah. i'm pregnant again! That happened. We found out in June and haven't looked back since. Dan and I couldn't be more excited to expand our family. More little bodies means more love and hilarious, beautiful memories. I love my new (i guess i can't say "new" anymore?) role as a mom and not many other things bring me as much joy as spending my days watching and learning from the life and mind of a 16 month old. I smile more now than I ever have and have learned way more about myself and living simply during this season life. All that to say, I'm still scared out of mind. Don't think for a second I'm not wondering what on earth we've gotten ourselves into with having two little ones under the age of two. Thank  goodness for God's grace, strength, wisdom, and help.... and for a wonderful community of family and friends to support us during this next adventure. 

Rest: stemming off of the pregnancy note, during the first half of summer I was EXHAUSTED. All of the time. As some of you know, I usually love being busy and having things to do and people to see. I thrive on "having plans" and to-do lists. This summer though, I have forced myself to learn the value and necessity of taking time, however much I had available, to simply rest. And even, to say "no" to things every once and a while. For me, I need I need some time to just be. Time to rejuvenate and time to just spend at home-- with my family and with myself. And hey, I figured that it's okay to bank some extra sleep in my "sleep bank" (that I realize doesn't exist) because when that little baby #2 arrives, I'll hopefully be happy I got some rest and relaxation when I could :) 

p.s. speaking of rest--while on vacation last week, I literally sat by the pool (while dan and noah napped) each afternoon...... and.... it was the best thing ever. it (doing absolutely nothing). was. pure. happiness. 

Other fun summer memories: blueberry picking, park adventures, lots of bonfires with friends, camping at the beach, girls nights, a US soccer game, Myrtle Beach, a trip to the zoo and aquarium, learning the art of baking fruit pies, and many many evening walks with the gang. 

So there you have it. Just a brief update into my world over the last few months. 

I promise, I'll be back soon. 

ciao.